2014 Birthdays

Our family's 2014 birthdays are biggies this year for my heart! The baby turned 5. That's a hard one for me.

I still have hope that she will ALWAYS allow me to snuggle with her!

This precious one is now 9, and has become her big sister's shadow, trying to push her way into the teen years. Just stop that, little lady!!!

And the youngest boy in the family, my baby boy, is now 14, and in high school! In fact, in breaking with our homeschool through to college tradition, he is attending a private school for 9th grade this year. 

The rest of the birthdays will come in a whirlwind around Thanksgiving, and I hope the distraction of the holiday will keep me from going into shock. I can hardly believe the petite little fairy will turn 7, the young woman that used to be my little girl will be 18, and my firstborn will be 20! These ages are just numbers to anyone else, but to me, they are milestones in my life's story. And milestones in the stories of these amazing people I call my children.

Super yummy, cultured squash!

My countertops are covered with the usual daily crumbs and sticky spots, things people get out and don't put away, and PILES AND PILES of impatiently waiting garden produce. This morning I woke up to an exploded green pepper. It ran out of patience. Oh, who planted so many green pepper plants this year? It took some doing to find some clear space in the kitchen to take the picture for this blog post!  I'll make some more salsa tomorrow, family, I promise!  Then we will have some clear space again.

It's quite a job keeping up with the produce coming in over the summer, and I am always feeling behind. But I've managed to keep a pretty steady flow of produce culturing. Our biggest successes this year have been green peppers (ugh, not my favorite), squash, zucchini, and tomatoes.  So, there's lots of salsa makin' goin' on!

To me, the benefits of cultured vegetables well outweigh the work and time investment in preparing and storing. They are loaded with vitamins, promote healthy gut flora, improve alkaline levels, balance thyroid, improve metabolism, and have amazing cleansing properties. They are full of vitamins B, C, and K2.  

Many healing diets recommend consuming some cultured vegetables with every meal for proper vitamin, mineral, and fat absorption.  The days that I do get my cultured veggies in me, are the days I feel superhuman! They are pretty awesome! 

One of my FAVORITE ferments is cultured squash! It is sweeter than most of the other fermented veggies, and so its savory flavor is a bit of a departure from the usual more sour ferments. I found the recipe for this squash  on Donna Schwenk's website, culturedfoodforlife.com. This is the one to make if you're easing into the flavors of cultured vegetables, since it isn't quite as pickled tasting.  

Now, I'd better go wipe the crumbs off my countertops.  

My long story, short

The ups and downs of the last several years:

I remember May of 2010 so distinctly.  I was on top of the world.  I had just completed my late return to college to finish my final year towards my bachelor's degree.  I was graduating with all A's from that last year, gave a speech during the ceremony, and could hardly believe I had just given birth to my sixth child the previous fall.  My husband and I were also wrapping up a huge undertaking that we had completely poured ourselves into for months.

I believe Jan-May of that year was the hardest work I had ever undertaken... nursing an infant who was having some major nursing challenges, giving over 100% in support and hard work to my husband's project, writing papers and completing assignments for school, and homeschooling and raising five other kiddos! I felt energetic, intelligent, and capable!

The moment I stood, presenting my graduation speech at college, still feeling the high of getting a perfect grade on my senior thesis, was a defining moment for me.

I had always been a good student, loved writing, reading, researching, and being a mom.  But at that moment, I remember taking a mental picture of the blessed life I had, and of the exciting potential of my future endeavors.  I just knew that God had big things in store for me and my family, and that He was giving me the skills necessary to accomplish the tasks he would entrust me with! I like to call this time of my life, the "full bloom phase."

The remainder of 2010 presented even harder challenges to give my energy to, and lots to accomplish, but the next distinct time that stands out in my memory is January 2011. That is when I finally had a chance to sit down for a moment after our big, crazy year.  I knew I didn't feel "right," but that it was probably just temporary exhaustion.

Things had finally calmed down, and I felt like my head was spinning. It was time to rest and recharge for a bit to recover from a huge year that had come to an end with the usual holiday craziness.  I figured that by the end of January, I would be back to my normal self.

Well, the inability to concentrate, read, or write a simple Facebook status update, along with an extremely fatigued feeling didn't go away by the end of the month.  Or by the end of the next month. I remained in a confused, perplexed zombie-like state for the rest of the year and on into the next year.  I like to call this time of my life, when I felt absent from everything going on around me, as "when my brain crashed and completely disappeared."

I had gone from writing beautiful, 10 page academic papers to not being able to read a complete sentence and typing my words with the letters all out of order.  After a lifetime of feeling like I was an analytic, academic type person, I was mentally paralyzed and completely wiped out.  Everything that made me, me... All the inside parts that make you more than just a shell, seemed to have vanished, and I was literally a shell of myself.  Mind and spirit had vanished. My body was on autopilot to get through the basic daily tasks of caring for my family, and that activity was very minimal.  You can see by looking back through my blog, that I did have a few thoughtful moments here and there.  Those moments usually meant I had done very little else that day or that week.  My good moments were few, and they were like a tiny allowance I was given that would be quickly spent on one task or another, and then there was nothing left, mentally or emotionally. If a day came that I was able to think fairly well, I had to decide what I would spend my meager allowance of thoughts and energy on, because I knew I would crash into zombie mode at any moment and wouldn't be back for days.

Distinct memory number three- August of 2012.  I was returning from date day with the hubby, and walking up the four stairs into the main part of our house, I felt my calf muscles seize up.  It wasn't pain. They just turned as hard as rocks and didn't relax again.  I became puzzled and sat down, and as I tried to figure out what this strange sensation was, my arms and legs began to feel numb with pins and needles.  By the next day, I couldn't get up off my couch all day, because my arms and legs felt like they each weighed 1,000 thousand pounds.  In fact, I felt like a huge invisible weight was pushing my whole body down.  I ended up lying down on my bedroom floor, because the sensations of weight pushing on me, pins and needles, and fire all over my skin made me feel like I needed to sink lower to the ground for some kind of relief.  It was like the dream where you can't move when the boogie man starts coming after you.  My body felt stuck, heavy, and covered in roaming prickly pains.

From August 2012, until March 2014 I spent much, much time in and out of those symptoms.  The bad times meant being bedridden, the good times meant living like a zombie with the addition now of muscles that were weighted with fatigue and painful inflammation and terrible all encompassing exhaustion.  I like to call this time of my life the "the time I was very, very sick."

 After some initial high dose Vitamin D therapy, I saw slight improvement by the end of 2012.  I started special methylated B Vitamins in 2013, after finding a gene mutation that was contributing to my crash.  Baby steps of improvement followed throughout the remainder of 2013.  There were some good times, then bad times again on my roller coaster ride of crashing, recovering, and crashing again.

By 2014, I felt that the baby steps I had taken through supplements were doing as much good as they were ever going to do. I was no longer bedridden or completely helpless, but I was so very limited in what I could actually accomplish in the down times, and the good times were tainted with muscle pain and severe brain fog.  I was happy with the progress, but knew that if I wanted to feel like my full bloom self ever again, I would have to discover additional steps to take toward healing.

God was so present in this sick period, and led me so faithfully through each baby step to take. But I will post the spiritual side of the story in a future entry.  

The next distinct memory I have is of a phone conversation with my mom in February of this year.  I told her I had been researching and praying, and that I was going to try an extreme diet to see if it just might help me. I was considering the GAPS diet or The Maker's Diet. I eventually settled on eliminating all refined sugars, processed foods, and grains. I concentrated on real foods, traditionally prepared, with lots of probiotic foods and nourishing bone broths.

Now, here's my FAVORITE distinct memory...

The first week of April in this year, I organically, miraculously, amazingly, and completely returned. I was back. My body felt like it should. My brain worked like it should. I felt like I had been gone somewhere for a couple years, and had just returned. I saw my precious family right there in front of me. I had intelligent thoughts. I felt my spirit soar with love, peace, and joy, instead of just feeling like I was clinging tightly to hope alone.

I am so very, very grateful to be healthy. I like to call this time of my life "the return of ME."

Garden tomato salsa

So I'm the crazy health nut lady now.  There's that.  It started out as "desperate times call for desperate measures," but I very quickly began wearing my crunchiness with pride!

Cultured vegetables are something that I have added to the arsenal of healing foods in our kitchen.  So, with all the fresh produce coming in from the garden and farmer's market, I am culturing my vegetables like mad!

One of our favorite cultures this summer has been homemade salsa made from fresh garden tomatoes.  We already love salsa, so culturing just adds the benefit of some amazing probiotics and super-powering of the vitamins already present in the various vegetables used.

I used this recipe I found online, and it is soooo good!

Tomato Salsa recipe by Hilltop Acres  (recipe link) 

Some departures from the original recipe that I linked:

I had to leave mine out on the counter in an air-lock jar for five or six days before I saw any signs of bubbly ferment.  I think it's because I pretty much liquefied my tomatoes.  I think if I would have left the tomatoes more chunky, it wouldn't have taken so long.  But I like how mine turned out.  Just know that it's pretty much up to you to keep an eye on any cultured veggies you make to know when they are ready for refrigeration. Also, I didn't de-gas like the recipe calls for.  I just treated this like all my other ferments, and threw a lid on it and put it in the fridge for a week before we called it ready. 

So much to share

Oh, how I miss blogging!!!

While I've been busy trying to keep afloat in the wavy waters that have become my challenging but so blessed life, the world of blogging has become serious business!

So many amazing women are writing words that provoke thought, bring tears, heal hearts.  Others are using their blogs to successfully add to their family's income.  And others are helping us with wonderful advice on cooking, parenting, homeschooling, spiritual issues.  It would be dangerous for me to go down the road of comparing their accomplishments to what I wish I could accomplish in my own writing. Thankfully, God has brought me to the place (or the age, since I'm getting OLDer!) where I can rejoice for them, and be content with my little journal here online, without letting that comparison thing keep me from moving forward with my own projects.

I cannot reenter this medium with the excellence I might have imagined as my goal.  So, once again, I dive into blogging- just dive on in...for me.  Maybe for me and my mom... and a few sweet relatives and friends.

   So I can document what is going on in my life, my family.
   So I can think out loud.
   So I can share.

I would love to share the huge challenges and changes that I have been through these last few years.  The amount of information and stories I want to write about could fill volumes!  The unwrapping of these thoughts will be difficult to prioritize, and will be much more scattered than I would like.  But I am ready to begin trying to put some of this into words... for me. There are so many different topics I want to touch on.  So many things I've seen and learned.  So many things I've been through, and am going through.

Children have been growing, homeschooling has been happening, health challenges have arisen, and God has been teaching and healing.

So, if you follow me, please extend some grace my way!  The posts may seem vague at times, because there's so much to tell, and it would be impossible to go into enough detail in each post.  This will be a gradual unveiling, and it will take some time to paint the full picture of what's been going on the last few years, and what things look like now.

I am certain that I will be inconsistent on topics (everything from homeschool lesson plans- to cultured vegetables- to gene mutations!) and order of events. I will have days of eloquence and days of struggling simplicity.  But I will just write as often as I can. I may also be less than stellar in my editing, since I am going to be pushing my limits to write at all, and in my haste may not notice my own mistakes.  But I'm ready to be back to blogging-- I'm taking a deep breath... and diving in!

Granddaughter Tea Time!

My girls are so blessed to have an incredible, feminine, godly grandmother!  Today she is having her traditional grandmother tea with all her granddaughters and her mother, their great-grandmother.  

Here is a link to her recent blog article looking forward to today's event.  

And here, she tells about this favorite tradition of hers.  Thank you, Mom, for being so dedicated to making beautiful memories!

I feel loved...

You have been committed to me through it all... more than 22 years of highs and lows.  Just this last year, you held my hand and encouraged me through debilitating sickness for so many months.  Even when you have had your own responsibilities pulling at you, you have remained steady and faithful, paying careful attention to my needs.  You love me by caring for my feelings and needs!

You asked me just days ago if I would like to pack some bags and take the kids to Disney World on the spur of the moment, checking out the week ahead on your weather app.  You wanted me to feel that warm Florida sunshine.  You wanted our children to experience the magic that comes with a vacation like that.  You love me by spoiling me with extravagance!

You know what each of our six children's favorite things are.  You come home from work with gum for Sydney, Doritos for the boys, and M&M's for the little girls.  You know which one needs to be told how big she is getting, which one needs to tag along with you to the office for a change of pace, which one needs kisses even though she acts like she doesn't like them, and which one needs to be encouraged to try doing something without any assistance from Mom & Dad.  You love me by being an amazing father to our children!

I could go on and on, but since you interrupted my writing of this blog post with chocolate covered strawberries, and told me to get dressed for dinner out tonight, I've got to go get ready.  Thank you for loving me so much more than I deserve!  You are good for me, husband!

Happy Valentine's Day, my love!

Lent

Going on a spontaneous vacation last week took me right out of real life and into a fantasy.  And jumping back into real life this morning brought the surprise of Lent sneaking right up on me!  I love Lent and the Easter season.  And before the exciting and fun distraction of a vacation, I knew I wanted to make the most of my Lenten experience this year.

Instead of a well thought out plan for the season that begins...TOMORROW...

I ended up scouring the shelves and pulling off books we already have, grabbing some candles off the shelf, and whispering a prayer for divine inspiration.

I found Piper's book, The Passion of Jesus Christ, which has 50 devotionals.  So, we will double up on a few of the nights.  I am going to go through this with the bigger kids after the little ones get tucked in.




The little girls and I are working through The Jesus Storybook Bible, which I am LOVING!  They waited so anxiously for baby Jesus to show up, as we read through the Old Testament half, each story foreshadowing His arrival and our desperate need for Him.  We are now to the beginning of Jesus' ministry, and will land on His death and resurrection in a couple weeks.

After missing our nightly readings from it on vacation, the little sweethearts are so happy to be back to their storybook Bible!  They beg for me to read "one more" each time, which I don't do, of course.  The anticipation of not wanting to miss a word of each short story makes them savor each one.  The simple yet profound truths in this gem of a book are so good, I think I'm going to have my 12 year old son make it his daily devotional reading when the girls and I are finished with it.  I highly recommend this one as one of my "must have" books.



I pulled these others down to read over the next few weeks.  As you may be able to tell from the picture, some of them are pretty worn, since we read these over and over in anticipation of Easter.

Lentil & Rice Salad

 

I cooked a new recipe with lentils this week.  It was fine.  The two people in the house who LOVE lentils, loved the recipe.  The others thought it was just O.K.  I used my own chicken broth, out of my frozen homemade broth stash, instead of the four cups of water.  I am trying to use my own stocks and broths as many times a week as I can, to ensure we are getting plenty of good minerals.  Also, I didn't add the pork in the recipe.  And that was all good and fine... 

AND THEN...

because of my love of Nourishing Traditions, Weston A. Price Foundation, and Makers Diet, which all inspire me to use quality ingredients, and not waste anything, I came up with my "leftover" plan!

Half of the leftovers I added more chicken stock to, for soup to freeze.  And the other half I used to warm up and fill the bottoms of our salad bowls.   

I put a substantial pile of the warmed up lentils and rice in the bottom of my salad bowl, and then added whatever fresh salad ingredients I had that day.  (I made three different versions of this salad three days in a row.)  Each time, though, I added my favorite simple salad dressing, Extra Virgin Olive Oil and Bragg Vinegar.  Since the lentil recipe already calls for olive oil, the flavors of oil and vinegar marry with this recipe in an amazing way!  I'm telling you!  Wow!

The olive oil drizzled over the salad is just beautiful, especially when I am thinking about how thankful my body must be for my increasing my oleic acid intake.  Oleic acid was the only nutrient I was low on in the last micronutrient workup I had done.  We will fix that!

This is so good!  All my little girls (ages 3, 5, and 7) were asking for more!  

(Lest you think I'm a healthy food snob, I want you to know I made chocolate chip, butterscotch chip cookies today and fed my girls yogurt for dinner!)

Here is the recipe I found in the New York Times:

Lentils and Rice With or Without Pork

Published: December 31, 2010

Time: About 45 minutes

Yield: 4 to 6 servings

2 tablespoons olive oil, plus more for drizzling

1 medium onion, chopped

2 celery stalks, chopped

1 large carrot, chopped

4 ounces bacon or sausage, chopped, optional

1 tablespoon minced garlic

Salt and freshly ground black pepper

2 cups lentils, rinsed and picked over

1 cup long-grain brown rice

3 or 4 bay leaves

Chopped fresh parsley leaves for garnish.

1. Put the oil in a large, deep saucepan over medium heat. When it’s hot, add onion, celery, carrot and meat, if using. Cook until vegetables begin to become tender and meat begins to brown in places, 5 to 10 minutes. Add garlic and some salt and pepper and cook for another minute or two.

2. Add lentils, rice, bay leaves and 4 cups of water. Bring to a boil, then lower heat so liquid bubbles gently, and cover.

3. After 30 minutes, if rice and lentils are tender and liquid is absorbed, the dish is ready. If lentils and rice are not tender, add enough liquid to keep bottom of pot moist, cover and cook for a few more minutes. If rice and lentils are soft and there is much liquid remaining (which is unlikely), raise heat a bit and cook, uncovered, stirring once or twice, until it evaporates. Discard bay leaves. Taste and adjust seasoning if necessary, fluff with a fork and serve, garnished with parsley and drizzled with more olive oil.

Notes

Use any grain instead of brown rice; you can even substitute white rice. (Cooking time for white rice is half or less that for brown, so add later.)

Similarly, use any bean: cook longer as needed and keep an eye on the water to make sure the beans stay submerged in about 1 inch of water during cooking; wait to add the rice until the beans are tender.

Stock will add flavor, but don’t waste money on the canned stuff; use water instead. (The dish will taste like lentils and rice.) For more flavor, add onion, carrot, or other vegetables and an herb like thyme.

For the dish called Moors and Christians, substitute a red bell pepper for the celery and carrot, black beans for the lentils, and 1 cup chopped tomato for some of the liquid; let the beans cook until half done before adding the rice.

For smoky red beans and rice, add 1 tablespoon tomato paste and 2 teaspoons pimentón to the vegetables. Use red beans instead of lentils and cook until they’re half done before adding the rice (which should be short-grain). Simmer for another 15 minutes, then bake uncovered at 450 degrees Fahrenheit until the beans and rice are tender.

For mujaddara, skip the meat; cook two sliced onions in a couple tablespoons of olive oil over medium-high heat until they’re dark brown but not burned, and serve on top of the rice and lentils.

For lentil and rice soup — or any bean and rice soup — use more water, or stock if you have it
.

"First day of school"

Most people's kids are a little smaller than this on their first day of school.  But today, with my sixteen and eighteen year old children, I get to experience a different version of that "first day".  Austin and Sydney drove off this morning for their first college class.  They are attending our local community college for a couple classes this semester.  This will get Austin geared up to be a full-time Freshman at college next fall, and get Sydney started towards having an associates degree by the time she graduates high school.  How exciting!

They've already turned in their first assignment online, and got a message from their teacher this morning that they were in the half of the class that actually did what the syllabus asked, while the other half of the class failed to do so.  Go homeschoolers!  I have to say, the papers they turned in were very impressive, and wonderfully unique.  They are both bright and capable, and make this mother so proud!  And it's neat to see how they both came at their writing assignment from different perspectives, both being very well done.  I can't wait to hear what they think about the classroom experience and the teacher.  They've taken classes at Prep, so they have done the classroom thing before, but college is something a little different.

I am so, so very proud of you, my young adults!  You have been gifted by God, and you both seek Him in your endeavors.  I am never surprised at the light that shines through you, only humbled and blessed by God's grace in your lives!  I love you!

New Year update

It's a new year, and so much is different at our house!  The children are growing and changing so quickly!  So, here is an update on all that is new with us... 

First of all, Kurt has moved his office to our small home town.  He can walk to the office from home, eats lunch home most days, and sometimes has one or two kids hang out at the office for a little while.  

I have been on the road to discovery and health, rebounding from some health setbacks I've experienced the last couple years.  I am looking forward to continuing recovery and making an even healthier lifestyle for my family one of my highest priorities.  (I will expand on this in future posts, as time allows.)  I am busy homeschooling, keeping things organized, preparing our food/meals more traditionally.  I am hopeful that being healthier will mean that this year I will be able to read the books on my list and blog again!

Austin is 18 now!  He is finishing up his senior year, by taking some classes at our local community college, and studying to take some CLEP tests for further college credit.  If all goes as planned, he will graduate in the spring with 15 college credit hours under his belt.  The ACT test is now just a memory.  He's been accepted by the college he wishes to attend, and has already been awarded an academic scholarship.  We are working on additional scholarships, and are planning senior pictures, and graduation details.  He is staying very busy working with 5th grade boys at church, attending youth cell group, and spending time with wonderful mentoring pastors.  The only remaining "homeschool" assignments he has left this year are my ever-growing and always continuing list of books I would like for him to read.  Of course, he has fun with a busy social life with some great friends, and enjoys time on the computer, and working out.

Sydney is 16 now, and has her official driver's license!  She is such an animal lover, and has been enjoying training our puppies.  She asked for a puppy of her own for her 16th birthday, a female maltipoo.  And our family also now has a female goldendoodle puppy.  She is excellent at training and caring for the dogs!  She is working on finding a male puppy to add to the mix, and studying and trying to breed some of them in the future.  Sydney is still studying piano, taking Theater and Sign Language classes, and an ACT prep class at Prep.  And besides her homeschooling assignments, she is going to attend the community college with her brother, and take a stab at some of those CLEP classes.  In her free time, we find Sydney studying her Bible and journaling.  (AND texting her friends, AND watching movies!)  She has some really wonderful friends!  Sydney also attends a girls' Bible study, and our church youth cell group each week.  She is going to be a very busy young lady this semester!  And she always manages to find plenty of time for her little sisters!

Andrew is 12, and in the major transition from little boy to young man!  He is learning to become more disciplined in his schoolwork, as this is the age that I usually start piling on a lot more "schooly" work than in the younger years.  He is doing so very well in this transition!  Last year he completed an 18 week program with Learning Rx, and is reaping the benefits of intense brain training in his schoolwork this year!  He continues to study piano, and can play for hours writing his own compositions and playing some of his favorite songs by ear.  He is also taking Theater, Choir, and Sign Language classes at Prep.  Andrew just got his first pair of invisiline braces, which will be a two year program.  He was anxious to get into braces, so he is so excited that the time has finally arrived!  For fun, Andrew loves to play Minecraft on the computer, building and creating his own little cyber-world.    

Macy is 7 now, and in 2nd grade.  She is ecstatic, because she is finally old enough to join the big kids at piano lessons.  She has her cute little piano lesson book, and LOVES practicing her songs!  She is also doing the Prep thing, with Theater, Sign Language, and Choir, along with her homeschooling.  She is a joy to teach, because she is studious, and just can't get enough learning in each day!  She is blessing her mommy so much, as she always wants to help me cook, decorate, and organize!  She is a great big sister to the littlest ones, always offering to help tuck them in, take them snacks, teach them preschool lessons, and watch over them.  For fun, she has been playing JumpStart.com and talking to her cousins on the phone.

Our sweet little Tessa recently turned 5!  And when she did, she just knew that she was suddenly very, very big and very, very smart!  She is learning her letter sounds and "doing math", starting Kindergarten a bit earlier than she officially needed to.  She insisted!  She is always busy coloring, drawing, playing dolls, dressing like a princess, or playing learning games on the computer.  She has been playing on the piano and singing like her brothers and sisters for fun.  Everything is all about princesses in Tessa's world, and she is especially excited about Disney's new princess, Sofia the First.  

Baby Janie is 3 now.  She is super close to her big sister, Tessa.   They are such close friends!  They are constantly playing together, but when Janie is by herself, she has such a big imagination!  She is always singing, like her big sister Sydney used to do when she was 3.  She keeps a running musical narrative of the day's activities.  So cute!  She's learning right along with Tessa at the little schoolwork table in the schoolroom.  And she would be happy to be read to all day long!  She has always communicated so well for her age, so most times, she sounds like she's 3 going on 23.  
                                      Happy New Year!!! 

Gratitude and Grief

Some friends of mine were over for tea just a few days ago.  We laughed about the way a first time mother might think she can predict her baby's whole life, as she just KNOWS she can tell what his personality MUST be, by the timing and force of his kicks within her.

I remember the assumptions I made about my first babies' futures, because of the way they either slept through the night early, or screamed more loudly than any other baby in the hospital nursery.  I am so very guilty...

The longer I'm a mom, or just a human being, for that matter, the more I know how much of my future is not predictable or controllable. So, when others are busy making New Year's resolutions, or deciding the year ahead will be the "year of love", or "year of God's peace", 

I just wonder... 

what does God have in store for me this year?  

I always know I will not be the same person at the end of the year, that I was at the beginning of it.  The birth of the year will come.  Life will happen.  I will try to keep control, while most of the time realizing, it's no use.  Lessons will be learned daily, 

and I wonder all the time... 

what is God working in me?  What kind of thing is growing in this year?  What is this year's name?  What is it's personality?  What kind of future is in store?  

It's usually about this time of year that I realize.  

I see it, all of a sudden- my year's name.  

Without any warning, I shift from trying to learn the small daily lessons, 

and wondering...

to seeing.  

THIS has been my year's journey!  It's not over yet, but the clarity that God allows in this revelation is energizing.  How many soft heart whispers have I heard?  How many conversations with dear friends?  How much emotion I have felt!  And then it all starts to come together.  Not the theme of a life, or an entire epic story, but this small puzzle piece of one year's time.

Today my year has a name.  It has unfolded little by little, until I now see it so clearly.  A year of learning gratitude, yes!  That doesn't mean it's been all butterflies and roses, and I just can't help but feel gratitude.  It's been a year of life- like always... 

miracles and messes all mixed together.  

And in the midst of it all, I am learning what the word gratitude really means, and how a grateful heart really feels, and what being thankful in everything looks like in a real life.  And for some providential reason, gratitude's companion for my year is grief.  A few years ago I grieved over losing an important part of life as I knew it.  But this is not that.  And I do not mourn over any immediate relatives... thank the Lord!  

I grieve over especially precious people whose losses have left huge holes to so many.  And I try the impossible carrying of others' grief... to lessen their burden.  I try, but it can't be done.  I cannot love and empathize their own grief away.  I watch grief.... and feel it.

I feel an empathetic grief that does no one any good.  

And so, I keep my eyes open, looking around me for the evidence of the engulfing grace of God... it is everywhere.  Even in the grief of so many.  I become especially grateful, because I know how much harder it is for some others at this moment, than myself, to be overflowing with gratitude.


I grieve alongside, and am grateful for emotion, for compassion, for family and friends, for love, for lives lived well...

Baby's 3rd Birthday

Janie Kate turned three!!!  

(Sorry about the pic quality, but the camera died, so the ipad is filling in for now.)

Precious Janie Kate

Great Grandma Lois!  Love her so much!

Mr. Joe is so good to the girls!

What can I say?  The girlie loves piggies!

The clouds open when we mouth thanks

I'm re-reading Ann Voskamp's One Thousand Gifts, and just couldn't help passing along this one particular paragraph. Such good words...


"I know there is poor and hideous suffering, and I've seen the hungry and the guns that go to war. I have lived pain, any my life can tell: I only deepen the wound of the world when I neglect to give thanks for early light dappled through leaves and the heavy perfume of wild roses in early July and the song of the crickets on humid nights and the rivers that run and the stars that rise and the rain that falls and all the good things that a good God gives. Why would the world need more anger, more outrage? How does it save the world to reject unabashed joy when it is joy that saves us? Rejecting joy to stand in solidarity with the suffering doesn't rescue the suffering. The converse does. The brave who focus on all things good and all things beautiful and all things true, even in the small, who give thanks for it and discover joy in the here and now, they are the change agents who bring fullest Light to all the world. When we lay the soil of our hard lives open to the rain of grace and let joy penetrate our cracked and dry places, let joy soak into our broken skin and deep crevices, life grows. How can this not be the best thing for the world? For us? The clouds open when we mouth thanks."

Macy's 7th Birthday

Since the birth order starts over after a five year gap between siblings, I call sweet Macy, my second firstborn.  So, earlier this month, my second firstborn, my firecracker baby, turned seven!  

She gets a few more freckles every year... gotta love this red-headed sweetheart!  

(Thank you, Sydney, for another wonderful photo shoot!  These pictures were taken by my talented daughter, the big sister, in May.)

Happy Birthday, Macy!!!  Your daddy and I love you SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much!!!

Beef and vegetable soup

Here's another garden-inspired recipe I've been using a lot this summer... 

Every time hubby and the kids bring in a cabbage from the garden, I know this will be making it's way onto the menu in the next day or two!  My parents were visiting when a cabbage was carried in from the back yard by a freckle-faced, bare-footed cutie recently, and my dad went on and on about how much he loved this soup!  So, here's the recipe (if you call using no measurements and adding all ingredients "to taste" a recipe) Dad wanted me to send you, Mom:  

First, brown about 1 pound of ground beef in bottom of olive oil drizzled pan, 

When the beef is about halfway browned, add a generous layer of dried Italian seasoning to mix in as it finishes.

After the beef is completely browned and cooked (and grease drained, if necessary), stir in a box of beef broth, a family-size can of tomato soup, and a can (same soup can) of water.  If you want the soup to go further, you can add a second box of broth, or more water, keeping in mind that more water always makes it necessary to add more salt!

As the soup warms up over a medium-high heat, have veggies sauteing in about 4 T of butter.  (I use about 1 yellow onion, 3 stalks of celery, and 3 carrots- here I was finishing up a handful of baby carrots)

While veggies are softening over medium heat, add chopped cabbage (small head, or half to more of a bigger head) to the soup pot.  

As the veggies continue to soften, sprinkle another generous layer of the Italian seasoning to the pan.

Once stirred into the vegetables, the veggie/herb combo should look like this...

Add a couple good sized tomatoes, (canned would probably work just fine... these are fresh from the garden...mmm!) to the soup.

Add the vegetables, and let the soup simmer as long as you'd like.  Your vegetables will probably need at least another 30 minutes or so with the rest of the soup, but as a rule, the longer the flavors meld on a low simmer, the better it tastes.  

And soup always tastes better the second day, after it's been hanging out all together for a while, especially when cabbage is involved!  

I didn't get a picture of the soup in the bowls, but we love to top ours with shredded cheese and a tiny dollop of sour cream.  So good!  Everyone at our house LOVES this soup, from the two year old all the way up to Daddy.  It's super easy, and makes everyone happy!

Homemade salsa

The abundance of the garden, even in a drought, promises our favorite recipes being put to use! (Thank you, wonderful husband, for faithfully planting, watering, and harvesting!)

Here is one of our favorite uses for the overflowing tomato platters...

Salsa:
4 tomatoes
2 small cans of green chilies
2 small cans of diced black olives
10 green onions
2 tsp garlic salt
2 tsp sea salt
3 T extra virgin olive oil
2 T tarragon wine vinegar
Jalapeno peppers to taste (if desired)

Chop- purée the tomatoes to desired consistency in food processor. Chop green onions in food processor separately. Mix the chopped ingredients with remaining ingredients in big bowl. If desired, add jalapeños that can also be chopped in the processor.