Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Now, where was I... ?

Wow, so it's been since the beginning of December since I've blogged? That's a real shame as far as blogging standards go, I realize. But for me, these last few months have been a time of taking things slowly, and regaining my focus.

In a way, the kind of year I had last year removed me so far from my life's usual circumstances that I have had to spend some time getting reacquainted with myself. I have spent much of this new year thinking and analyzing, making attempts at living a normal life again, and simply vegging and resting (otherwise known as "crashing").

I have had a tendency, at any time in my life to spend way too much time and energy thinking and thinking about why I do what I do; why the kids do what they do; how to best reach and train their hearts; why the world spins the way that it does; how I'm going to prioritize and do my job like I desire; what God wants me to learn, and how he wants me to go about this work of mine. Lately, just the over-analyzing alone has been enough to zap me of any creativity which could have remained after the day's basic responsibilities.

Despite the lack of focus to blog or do much of anything creative or intellectually impressive, I have had a glorious time of "capturing". This is where I have been. It hasn't always made me look very productive, smart, or particularly accomplished, but I have been filling up my heart with the fuel of memories.

To me, capturing is when I take a moment to notice the blessings around me, breathe in the beauty, and try to tuck the memory away in a part of my mind that will hold it tightly for me.

I have needed this time to put aside expecting so much of myself in a day, that I am too stressed and tired to notice...

The beauty in Baby Janie's swaying, bobbing dance.
The adorable stories that come from Tessa's soft, tiny, feminine voice.
The handful of onion-grass and dandelions that my compassionate Macy brings in to send to the girl whose picture is on my Voice of the Martyrs calendar (she knows what a good gift that is because Mommy always reacts so gratefully to such a presentation!).
The sweet, caring instruction coming from big brother Andrew to his little sister, who he calls his buddy.
The look of anticipation in Sydney's eyes as she waits for her sister to recite the memory verse she is teaching her.
The desire to learn and the work ethic Austin embraces as he begins to enter adulthood all too quickly.
The love that is displayed by a mid-day phone call from a husband, tirelessly dedicated to his family's well being.

And so, I feel myself slowly returning... The homeschool schedule I need to implement is becoming clear and focused, I am diving into the list of books I am anxious to read, and I am here again, writing. There is so much to do, think about, and accomplish; meanwhile capturing the precious, precious moments of perfection that are sprinkled throughout each day!

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