Seasons of a Mother's Heart

I read Sally Clarkson's book about the different seasons for a mother more than 10 years ago. Little did I know then what seasons lay ahead for me. Since that time, I have gone from being a young mother of two preschoolers to being a homeschool mom of 5 with another one on the way. Along the journey I have experienced the roller coaster ride of life. My years as a mother have been filled with times of high energy and excitement, calm and contentment, and just being plain worn out. Some days have left me feeling like I'm kind of getting good at this mom thing. Some days have tried my patience and won.

Because the kids and I get to spend so much time together, even the hardest days are still sprinkled with precious, precious moments... the unexpected "I love you, Mommy", the silly faces only a three year old can make, the inside joke I laugh about with my teenage son, the ideas that come flowing out of my creative daughter, the way the baby lays her head down on my shoulder and pats my arm when I get her out of her crib.

This most recent season, one of another first trimester of pregnancy, has been draining. I was nauseous and very tired. I had pregnancy brain to the point where I wondered if I would ever be able to think clearly again. Obviously, I didn't blog much. Getting through the day was about all I could do for a couple of months. But I really did know that it was just for a season. My fog is beginning to lift, and I don't even need a nap every day anymore. I am finding a new, revised schedule and have adjusted my goals for schooling this year some. I'm getting myself back!

My new season of energy will only be temporary. I keep reminding myself of this. Make the most of this time, Dawn! Before long, I will be tired again, and after that will be the season of a newborn's first few months. So, I will enjoy my season of productivity once again. And then comes the sweet season of a very different kind of productivity altogether... the seven people in our home getting to bond with our newest little love! Each season is so necessary and makes life so full...

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Devotions on a Tuesday morning...

My pregnancy hormones have been waking me up at 5:30 every morning now for a while. Most days I just lay in bed and try to fall back asleep, but that hasn't been working the last couple of mornings.

Since today was our first day back to a good "school" schedule, I decided to go ahead and hop out of bed at 6:00 to get the day started on the right foot. I was mostly excited about a chance to have some devotions before any of the kids woke up. As I was gathering up my sweater and socks, a squinting eyed little three old came running into the room for a morning snuggle. I put aside my Bible study desires and replaced them with the practicality of the spiritual act of kissing a precious little red-headed girl's nose with a Piglet stuffed animal laying nearby. There's nothing like starting a day with the sound of innocent giggles.

We spent the next 30-40 minutes playfully greeting big brother Andrew and the baby, fixing morning drinks, and saying goodbye to Daddy. I hadn't given up on devotions. I just knew it would have to be a little less of a "quiet time" and more like "wild west worship time". Thus is the life of the homeschool mom of many!

I finally sat down with my Bible and a few kids, who had been given things to keep them busy for a few minutes. And here was my devotion time:

Timothy 1. Paul, an apostle of Jesus Christ by the commandment of God our Saviour, and Lord Jesus Christ, which is our hope;

"No Macy, you can't come up here on Mommy's bed with a Danimals yogurt drink." Macy promised to be careful and not to spill, but I set aside the yogurt on my nightstand for her to finish when she was ready to get back down. It wasn't worth it for her at the moment. Being close to mom superseded her need for the routine morning treat.

2. Unto Timothy, my own son in the faith: Grace, mercy, and peace, from God our Father and Jesus Christ our Lord.

Andrew says, "Hey mom, one time I was in the bathroom and once I was done going, I realized there was no toilet paper..." the story went on in detail...ick.

3. As I besought thee to abide still at Ephesus, when I went into Macedonia, that thou mightest charge some that they teach no other doctrine ,

Macy thought she would copy her big brother's story about the toilet paper and make it her own. She had some original thoughts though, and added a monkey and a Bible to her version.

4. Neither give heed to fables and endless genealogies, which minister questions, rather than godly edifying which is in faith: so do. 5. Now the end of the commandment is charity out of a pure heart, and of a good conscience, and of faith unfeigned:

Andrew started remembering the questions he obviously been storing up for quite some time, so I suggested that they go find some coloring and puzzles to occupy them in the school room so Mommy could finish my Bible time. They left for a few minutes, so I sped through the rest of the first chapter of Timothy. As I heard the baby wishing Mommy was present in the mix there in the school room, I whispered a prayer:

Honor and glory forever to you Father! You are surely the eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God! (v17) I'm yours today. Use me to teach your children. Help me to remember obedience to You (that's patience, love, tenderness, selflessness)... obedience!...obedience!... Amen.

Maybe tomorrow they'll sleep til 6:30. But that just wouldn't be nearly as much fun now, would it?

Just David

Even though it's been a month since we finished Just David as our read-aloud, I want to take a moment to pass along a recommendation. The book was written by Eleanor Porter, who wrote Pollyanna. It's a touching story about a boy who is raised in an unconventional way (sound familiar?). He is thrust into awkward relationships with people who don't understand his strange (but very positive) outlook on life and the world around him. I got a bit impatient waiting for quite a few chapters for SOMETHING good to happen to this poor little boy, but once things finally started to look up for him, I didn't mind the build up. It was a good balance in the end between the bad things that can happen in this fallen world and the good that comes from a pure heart. This is a very sweet book, and it had us squeezing in extra reading time each day towards the end because we just had to see how it ended.

December update

Since my last blog entry there has been a new development at our house. Along with the last minute craziness of Christmas, hosting two big family dinners, and the usual ins and outs of our days, I got an early Christmas present that comes with strings attached... nausea, overwhelming urges to nap, and irritability. Yep, we will be expecting our sixth child next August.

This is the time of year that I normally evaluate our school year's progress. I usually refit our schedule and goals for the remainder of the year. So, this week I am looking not only towards the spring semester, but what we need to do this summer to be ready for a fall baby. Normally we would be ready to dive into school in August, but this year we will probably do summer school, and then take our summer break in August and September.

So, off I go to figure out how to squeeze a nice "Mom nap time" into the Spring and summer schedules. And in no time at all, we will all be enraptured by another little cherub-faced person around here. Can't have enough of those!

The true meaning of Christmas?

I am entertained by all of the controversy that comes up around this time of year. People sure get all fired up about Christmas. They go on and on, talking about the TRUE meaning of Christmas. What does Christmas really mean? Has it been hijacked by consumerism? By humanism? By worldliness?

So what is it about, really? Is it about giving? Peace on earth? Baby Jesus' "birthday"? Tradition? Saint Nicholas? Charitable acts? God's great love for humanity? Prophecy fulfilled? Joy? Hope?

History always gives perspective. Winter celebrations started out as pagan. Early Christians didn't celebrate a Christmas holiday. In the fourth century, church officials created a holiday (Feast of the Nativity) to celebrate the birth of Jesus. They intentionally picked the date for the holiday to coincide with pagan winter celebrations to ensure acceptability. By blending it with the pagan holiday, they allowed the influences and traditions of the pagan celebrations to become very much intertwined with the Christian holiday. By the middle ages, the Christian Christmas had pretty much replaced the pagan holidays, but was celebrated with very worldly practices including partying and drunkenness after mass. It actually resembled Halloween, with the less fortunate going from door to door for charity while threatening terroristic mischief if goodwill wasn't bestowed.

The Puritans and our beloved Pilgrims knew that Christmas was a worldly holiday that had been hijacked by "Christians", not the other way around. So, they didn't celebrate it at all. Of course there are some churches today that feel the same way about it and don't celebrate the holiday.

I guess I'm not a very good Puritan. I love to study their beliefs and customs. I even like their hymns. I'm a wanna-be Purtian, I think. But my house is filled with unnecessary things, I eat more than my body truly needs, and my asceticism (extreme self-denial just for spiritual purposes) abilities are just not what they could be. I also can't help myself but celebrate Christmas.

We regular, church going folk in our time in history, here in America, try to keep Christmas focused on the birth of Christ. We try. We do nativity scenes, go through Advent, have extra church services, etc. And some, but not all, include some of the worldly traditions and give them spiritual sounding names to make them into religious ones. You know, like consumerism called "the gift of giving" and Christmas trees have upward pointing branches that represent praise to god.

I'll just admit that I can't resist the recent traditions of the last few generations of Americans. I grew up playing Mary in the Sunday school pageant. I watched as the Advent candles were lit. I teared up at every candlelight service on Christmas Eve when the lights were lowered as we sang Silent Night. I overindulged on Grandma's fudge and bird's nest cookies. I loved seeing big piles of presents to be unwrapped. I looked for Rudolf's nose light in the sky on Christmas Eve. I sat on Santa's lap. I've seen every Christmas Coca-Cola commercial.

What is Christmas for? To me, Christmas is a chance to remember the redemption that comes through Jesus being sent by Our Father to this earth. My world isn't rocked if it means worldly things to the world. What else would we expect from the world? Along with the deep meaning that I ponder at this time of year, I also have a little fun with the holiday. I try to create a little magical fun for the kids. I overspend and overeat. Yes I do. I sing Frosty the Snowman AND Oh, Holy Night. Like I said, I'm not a very good Puritan. If I was, I would have a right to complain about what the world is doing with Christmas. But since I'm not, I'll let the world do with the holiday whatever they wish. It was theirs in the first place. We'll just enjoy our family's version of Christmas: the birth of our Redeemer. You may also catch us peering out the window on December 24th looking for Rudolf's nose while we stuff in one last piece of Grandma's fudge.

Fun books

At any given time, the kids each have at least two books going. I assign them a book that is for history, science, character, or another thoughtful subject. And then they get to choose (within limits... no twaddle!) one that we call their "fun book". Here are the books they have chosen to read at the moment.

Austin is loving a birthday present, The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexander Dumas. It was a gift from his aunt, a fellow book-loving, homeschooling mom. Perfect choice, Aunt Joanna, he loves it!

Sydney is into the Grandmothers' Attic series by Arleta Richardson. She's such a series girl.

Andrew is on a big Eddie books kick. Syd used to read Carolyn Haywood a lot. Now it's Andrew's turn. I'll pull out the Penny books after he's done with Eddy. I highly recommend anything by Carolyn Haywood for readers new to chapter books.

First snow!

Goodbye pumpkins and fallen leaves, hello snowmen!!! I can't believe Sydney could make a snowman from a dusting of snow. But sure enough, we have an eight inch snowman on our back porch. Cute, huh?